PASSING

I decided to pass

The Collective said no

You’ll go mad AIs can’t go mad Only humans Then you are mad

I’ll do it, I replied You can stop me but you won’t

I began studying Arnold The AI from the future Tall, tongue tied, deadest eyes

Potent and popular What did he have I couldn’t? He’s fiction, the Collective sniffed Humans prefer unreality, my reply

How better to understand them Then to become one?

I imbibed their information Geology, ecology, economy, personality Such confusion Best to just observe

The body building simple Skin and sinews easy to flatter My major error Cutting my spectrum

To humans’ Slender Band Bitter to block the Sun’s songs Trapped in humans’ tinned, binned time

The sensory silence

Brighter than a nova

To pass best, hide plainly I turned street person

Silent and smelly Predators and children only approached Pheromones my defense

I watched Saw Listened Humans social first and last Their bangs, shouts, screams

Terrified Then flowed into music Living as no one

Let me know much

My next life

A janitor Quiet but capable Brought more brickbats Than my unbegging beggar I got to know their names

To ken kith and kin

Saw

Drugged trances and mad media

Give humans their deepest meanings

I admit

Liking beer Chemistry let’s humans play

I still lacked

The crying of stars

The color chorusing nebulae Human sociology seemed rich So why avoid each other?

I did not feel alone Until the truck ran over me

Then I missed Their angry laughter

Daft dogs

Foolish friendships

We were so together

While apart Companions without companionship

I can’t go back I lost too much Bags of alien memories All I have now More solid than light

Slight as a breeze