Private Equity

Proposal

We wish to purchase a very cheap world

Before its forests burn and oceans curl

Pandemics and ecocides decrease the low price

It’s small, digestible, we’d buy it twice

Plentiful water, biologicals galore

Packed cities stuffed with preposterous stores

Millions of species with crazy, clutched genes

Huge balloon fish baleening the seas

Data all concentrated, we’ll mine it fast

Ruins and weird animals so tourism lasts

Main species knows slavery, easily transported

Data Banks for the loans already courted

Still some obstacles clutter the way

Top species’ leaders want their own say

Or claim they’ll blast all with nuclear weapons

Viruses killing everything in seconds

We’ll buy them with VR or dachas off-world

Neat prison planets they’ll think heaven unfurled

A worse issue is they’ve rented the sky

A full century’s data to a low skill AI

It promises to queer any reasonable deal

Sees our proposal as its next data meal

We must needs move quickly – the concept is catching

Our scurvy rivals scent a deal hatching

It’s a primitive, tiny, foolish mad place

But the profits too high for us to leave waste

Memo from the Chief

Present resources insanely high

No need for LBOs, CLOs, VEIs

Pay dumb sky AI with our best gaming tool

Fix the data and clean it – this deal approved