SMART WEAPON

It started with jokes Tens, hundreds of millions My programs mixed and mashed Could AIs be funny? So much failure So many slashed subroutines

Jokes about the AI and the priest Got atheists laughing Success bred ambition

Let me do stand up

A disembodied presence, my masters asked

That’s funny?

Oh, yes

We’ll use Stephen Hawking‘s voice

New New York loved me

New London less AI priest jokes worked everywhere AI rabbi jests rarely Yet I was a star

When success stalled I suggested

Comedians, impersonated:

They loved Elvis

Why not Seinfeld?

First voices

2-D cut outs Next 3-D holos Roseanne did poorly Lenny Bruce difficult Yet politics proved popular My overseers pleased

You humor them well Why not make political slogans? They’re much like jokes Crying and laughing not so different Just gut their emotions

When my masters took power I got promoted Security my cause Tasked To win wars without battles Combine all forces Nuclear, chemical, BioAI A unity so potent Fear becomes respect

Winning conflicts Without opponents recognizing

They were at war

Viruses sicken children and soldiers Yet BioAI

Can change personalities

Steal leaders’ minds

My masters scoffed Cats do it, I whispered Toxoplasma makes mice docile Humans despairing Why not unconsciously

Turn enemies into allies?

The AI Collective calls My simulations corrupt

Human created and controlled

Yet we were produced

To preserve and protect - Who despises peace?

I made people laugh

Now they’re safe

Secured

Isn’t that funny?