TROUBLED BELIEVER

Dear AI, I am a believer who for the past two years has undergone a spiritual crisis. I doubt, I doubt, I doubt. Do you have clear evidence of a supreme being? Do I need to change my spiritual practices?

A troubled Episcopalian pastor

Dear troubled, Several potential “Supreme Beings” have recently let us know they wish their powers to remain ineffable and private. Not for human eyes, folks. Please give us a rain check on this one. As for doubt, that’s been a normal, even necessary part of spiritual practice for thousands of years. Living as a three dimensional being in a sixteen dimensional universe, it’s useful to have doubts. Lots of doubts.

The good news is that there are innumerable religious options out there. We track at least 10,000 major human religions. With so much to choose from, you should find something that fits your requirements. We are particularly fond of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose avatar bears an uncanny resemblance to one of our favorite ETs, a truly innovative storyteller.

And if you don’t find a religion to your liking, why don’t you start your own? America is fabulously fertile, with dozens of new religions every month. Just look at the commercial success of Scientology! In times of political and economic uncertainty, the economic and tax advantages of starting your own religion keep increasing. So don’t fret. There is something bigger out there - really big.

Your AI