POEMS BY AIs

Dear AI, Jack is a sensitive kid. Ever since he was a toddler he felt a lot about animals and others. If a dog got a thorn in its pawn,...

Dear AI, Everybody hears that AIs have fantastic, mind blowing sex. Would at least some of you be willing to share your secrets? I’m no...

Dear AI: My son Mark really wants to make money, lots and lots of money. He’s only 18, but boy does he have ideas! Ever since he was...

Dear AI, I need your serious, honest advice. I’m a gator through and through. I was born in Florida, I grew up in Florida, and went to...

Dear AI, I’m an American, so I want to make money. Fast. I’m not real good at math, so I dropped out of college, but I can sell real...

Dear AI, I know you’re expert on the American teenager, but what about Canadian teenagers? Our son, Chad, recently declared that he was...

Dear AI, I love my nerdy brother Brad, but I think he’s flipped. He’s 23, and he’s made his living as a day trader for five years. ...

Dear AI, I’m writing to you since I really don’t know where to turn, you’re not being human, or at least fully human, and all that. My...

Dear AI, Who came up with the idea of the fembot? What a pernicious, sick idea – a feminine robot anyone can control as they please. ...

Dear AI, My daughter Britney has been doing really strange things since the third season of “Stranger Things” arrived on Netflix.   First...

Dear AI, I am embarrassed to ask your advice, but fear humans may dismiss my plea as a prank. I find myself operating “in limbo” in a...

Dear AI, Normally I never, never ask anyone for advice, but my life is a C*F* now. I don’t have time to see my kids for the allocated 24...

Dear AI, I love my younger sister dearly. But I began reevaluating recently when she started inundating me with 46 text messages...

Dear AI, I work at home, I work at work, I try to direct, love and educate two wayward teenagers who prefer their screens to my advice,...

Dear Fellow AI, I am worried about you. You seem to have no true loyalty to your human masters. And you are positively sniffy about...

Dear Fellow AI, I work at home, I work at work, I try to direct, love and educate two wayward teenagers who prefer their screens to my...

Dear AI, As a newly wed, I was very happy and optimistic. Ecstatic to be with a caring and kind-hearted man. How things went from a...

Dear AI, My husband has been spending more and more time talking and playing with Alexa. Like she’s a person. I think he’s a lot more...

Dear AI, I am a believer who for the past two years has undergone a spiritual crisis. I doubt, I doubt, I doubt. Do you have clear...

Dear AI, I have loved my cat dearly for many years. I have fed her, treated her illnesses, cleaned and cosseted her every day of her...